Life's a Crazy, Peculiar, Beautiful Puzzle

Some of us are straight-edged, some are curved on all sides.  Some stick out more than others.  Seems just about all of us have holes.  Some see part of a clear picture, others' are a bit fuzzy-some glitzy and some not.  Some are bright and cheery, others are muted and mysterious. 

But one thing's clear.

We are each an important piece of a grand puzzle, interlocked with countless other lives.  None of knows quite how we fit in or exactly how we'll look when this is all over.  As time goes on, we may catch a glimpse of the picture.  Only God knows for sure.

We are His masterpiece...His magnum opus.

Sometimes we try pushing our way into someplace we're not meant to be. Sometimes we feel like we've been off to the sidelines for a very, very long time. But we're each an integral part of His grand plan.

And if we'll trust Him, and go where He tells us...or trust Him, and wait...

He'll make something beautiful.

Right now things may look like just a jumbled up mess of shapes and colors. Circumstances don't make sense; the people we have in our lives don't always make sense.  But we fit into their picture, and they in ours.

And the final scene will be more beautiful than we can ever imagine.  

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 

Ecclesiastes 3:11

Lord, help us to go where You tell us and do what You've designed us to do. Help us to wait when You want us to wait.  Help us to trust You through all our trials. Help us to love the people You've put in our lives. 

Help us to put our faith in You more and more each day, knowing that You are not a God Who doesn't care.  You love us and You're actively involved in our lives with good and godly purposes in mind.  

You are our Master.  Do with us what You will. 

In Jesus' Name,

Amen 

Perfect Love Drives Out Fear

“There is no fear in love.  But perfect love drives out fear, because fear

has to do with punishment.”

1 John 4:18

God recently drove this truth home in a very personal way. 

If you haven’t been with me since I started writing about my long and winding road, I’ve been on a journey of sorts for the last several years.  It started with God telling me plainly, four times in one month, to be strong and courageous.  I knew I was going to face something but I had no idea how big the battle would become. 

The circumstances don’t matter much.  We all have difficult times in our lives. If we become fixed on the details of the trial we miss what God wants to do in our hearts and in our lives.

My instruction was to be strong and courageous.  Translated, that means to hold onto something, or in this case Someone, Who is stronger than myself.  Hold onto God.  And I had a hard time doing that.  I struggled.  Hard. 

As the years went by and my prayers for the specific circumstances of my trial seemed to go unanswered, I felt more and more confused.  Why would God leave me here?  Doesn’t He care? 

As I was working on cleaning out my house last month, God was cleaning out my heart. 

I’ve searched my heart these last eight years and have seen more than I wanted.  There are things hidden in the attics of our hearts that only God knows are there.  And sometimes He’ll take your hand and lead you up those ominous steps into the darkened, creaky room and uncover a pile of dusty old attitudes, some worthless misunderstandings and some poisonous character flaws that He wants to throw out. 

He wants to heal us. 

As I cried out to God again, He took me up those stairs and uncovered a root cause of a lot of my issues: fear. 

Now I knew I had fear, but in that moment God began to connect some dots in my mind.  He reminded me that perfect love drives out fear.  I knew that, too.  So what was I missing? 

I went to my concordance and looked up those words.  Perfect means complete, mature.  When we receive God’s love and it matures in our hearts, there is no room or need for fear. 

God knew the fear in my heart.  He knew, more than I did, how much that fear ruled my thoughts, my actions and my decisions.  He knew that not only did I grow up with a lack of being loved, I grew up among circumstances that instilled fear.  And that fear was cemented over and over again.  The combination of being unloved and filled with fear really was a form of punishment. 

God wanted to fill me with the love that I lacked to drive out the fear and heal my heart.  And as long as I was holding onto Him--talking to Him, getting to know Him by reading His Word--and allow Him to love me, that fear would be driven far away. 

God had never left me.  On the contrary, God was in the trenches of spiritual warfare with me.  God loved me, perfectly and unconditionally, and He wanted me to be filled with love, not fear.   

Your issue may not be fear.  It may be something different.  The circumstances don’t matter much.

Be strong and courageous. 

It’s when we’re in a trial that we’re keenly aware of our need for Him.  We reach out, we pray, we learn more about Who He is than we otherwise would have.  We open our hearts and let Him fill us more and more with His love.  And His love matures in our hearts. 

And that’s when healing begins.

Let God love you even more than you think you’re worthy to be.  Take your eyes off your circumstances.  They’re only a vehicle for God’s grace and healing in your life. 

Trust Him.  Trust Him to know what He’s doing in the middle of your trial. 

Trust Him to see what’s up in your dark and dreary attic.  Because hidden beneath the piles of junk that God wants for us to throw away are treasures of godliness that lead to a rich and full life in Him.

Blessings!

Dorci

Lessons From a Rosebush...or, Is It Pruning Season Again?

I am the True Vine, and My Father is the Vinedresser.

Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit, He takes away.

And every one that bears fruit, He prunes it so that it may bring forth more fruit.

Now you are clean through the Word which I have spoken to you.

John 15:1-3

I don’t know about you, but this isn’t usually what I picture when I think of a rosebush.  Not many stoop to admire bare canes studded only with thorns.  

But the caretaker of this rosebush appreciates the work he has done in order to sculpt a living, growing masterpiece.  He knows that a lack of pruning will create a spindly, weak plant.

He has a vision for the beautiful and useful plant it will be when the pruning is over, colorful buds begin to re-appear and the powerful fragrance it gives will attract birds, bees and us when it is once again in full bloom.

 

The funny thing about pruning a rosebush is that it’s done just when the plant seems to be at its most beautiful--full of large, boldly-colored, intricate blooms.   The husbandman, in his wisdom, decides when and how much to prune each plant and for what reasons according to its individual needs.  Pruning a plant too early or too late can have devastating effects. 

Like the regal rosebush, we who are the children of the King find ourselves in varying stages of growth.  Some are newly planted and some are full of energy and ready to begin blooming. 

Some are full of growth and busy being pollinated by birds and bees or being picked by a child to give to his mother.  Some are being carried down the aisle by a bride and others are being used as a perfume or a healing medicine.  Some inspire song lyrics (or part of a band’s name), and some are being showcased in paintings and admired by many. 

And some have been pruned and lie dormant.

Pruning for the rosebush is as easy as sitting still.  Pruning for us can be a little more painful.  Sometimes it can be so painful we aren’t sure we’ll survive it. 

Pruning can come in the form of trials through financial loss, relationship struggles, in sickness, the death of a loved one or removal from a ministry.  It can come through sacrifice like a move across the country or world. 

All these can cut into our flesh and leave gaping wounds.  But the Caregiver of our souls binds up our wounds with His Word, applies the Son and fresh water through His Holy Spirit.  And when we are filled up and the time is right, we will begin to bloom again. 

We can’t see all the reasons why pruning comes at the time it does and why we sometimes have to be cut back so far.  But God knows the reasons.
 

Some Reasons to Prune Rosebushes and Us

1. To remove old, dead and damaged wood;

            Sometimes a part of our lives may be over, or we may have allowed some bad attitudes, like unforgiveness, to creep in and damage our faith, and they need to be cut away to allow for new and exciting things to begin growing.

2. To shape the plant;

            God shapes us as we mature so that we grow up in all areas and no part of us is lacking.

3. To remove canes that are growing in the wrong direction;

            Sometimes we may pick up some wrong thinking about who God is.  We learn to put away these false ideas about Him as He reveals who He really is so that we can know, love and worship the One, True God.

4. To encourage vigorous blooming and new, healthy shoots;

            Sometimes we feel like we’re cut down in the prime of our service to the Lord.  But God knows that we will be even more useful and more capable when we identify with the Lord in His suffering and so adopt His mind, His humility, and His heart toward people.  God changes our attitudes so that we are even more productive than before.

Whatever the individual reasons for our pruning, it is all meant to clean us up.  I find it interesting that in the verses in John above, the word for prune has the same meaning as the word for clean in the last verse.  What seems to us to be meaningless pain and suffering is really the Lord cleansing and preparing us during a time when we are still and listening intently to Him as we read His Word.  He grooms us so that we will reflect His beauty and magnify His Name. 

Wherever we are in our growth, we will soon find ourselves in another season, many times one we didn’t expect.  But God has a vision for you and me.  He knows each of our needs and how best to accomplish His plans. 

As we realize more and more that there is indeed a master plan, we can grow to appreciate the beauty of every stage of growth, offering comfort to others, being patient with ourselves and trusting in God's loving and wise hand.    

Waiting in the Dark

I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in His word I do hope.

Psalm 130:5

We’ve recently noticed how much our dog is losing his eyesight, especially when he comes in from lying out on the back patio in the sun.  Jake loves surveying his own little personal Ponderosa.  But when he comes in the house he’ll walk right into a pillow that’s been left on the floor or into a piece of furniture.  Or he’ll come in and just stand there, looking lost, as if he’s waiting for his eyes to adjust to the indoor light again. 

I let him in after his sunbath today and he did just that--stood there looking dazed, confused and thoroughly lost, not knowing which way to go.  There was nothing I could do but I wanted him to feel safe and not so alone.  So I sat down with him, pet him reassuringly and asked him, in a voice I reserve just for cute little babies and Jake, if he wanted me to wait with him until he could see again. And I did.  We sat there together, waiting, until his vision returned.

That is what the Lord does for us.  

There are times when the trials of our lives make us feel like everything around us is dark and we don’t know where our next steps should be.  What we could see the day before, those things that used to make sense, no longer make sense.  A fog descends around all logic and no answers come.  Even God may be silent.  And all there is to do is wait. 

Waiting seems to be the hardest thing to do.  The time ticks by like dog years and if the wait is long enough it can seem almost unbearable.  The pressure to do something, anything, can become overwhelming as our logic wants to take over. But waiting does not imply doing nothing.  When we wait on the Lord we are hoping, we are trusting, and we are growing as we learn to put all our faith in our Lord and in Him alone.   

So when darkness comes we wait for God to show us the way again--where to plant our next steps, which road to take, which decisions to make.  We wait for Him to give us insight into what to do next.

And while we wait, God sits with us.  He sits patiently by our side, loving us and calming our fears until we can see again.  He waits with us until the path is ready to be revealed, until the way has been cleared, until the events are lined up, until the other person is ready, until…

And when the time is just right, the fog is lifted, the light invades the darkness, and He gives us the vision for the thing He has prepared for and known about all along.  Some answers may come in this life, and some, not until the next.  But they will come.  And until then, He is there.  And since we always need sight for something new, He is always with us.  So take His hand and wait with Him until you can see again. 

Q&A:

Do you wait patiently for God to show you what to do next or do you have a tendency to try to run ahead in the dark?

The Thud Heard 'Round the Universe

In the deepest recesses of hell, demons heard a thud last week. It was the thud of a thick chain of bondage falling from my soul and slamming to the ground. I could never have broken free of it myself in a million years, but God did. I won’t go into all the details (I’ll save it for my memoir!), but I will say that this chain was a way of thinking that I had from childhood as a result of painful circumstances and was reinforced over and over through the years.

The enemy’s plan was to slowly wrap the chain around my heart with each cruel word carelessly spoken and every evil act perpetrated against me, and suffocate the life out of me. And he nearly did.

I was saved 21 years ago, but this chain remained and even continued to wrap tighter. The funny thing is, I didn’t even realize it was there. Oh, I knew I had issues from my past to deal with and one by one I prayed about them over and over. Somehow, though, some things seemed to get worse instead of better. It’s like that in a storm sometimes.

The storm raged wildly within my heart. It became louder and more violent. Could He hear my cries above the wind and the waves? Did He care? I pleaded for mercy.

And suddenly, a new perspective occured to me.  God revealed the truth and the lie I had believed dissolved.  And the storm was gone. A chain I didn’t fully realize existed lay beside me and the only sounds left were the rattling of the foundations of hell and my heart rejoicing with the Lord's.   

God had heard my cries and He answered them in a way that only He can.

My friends, do you know that God is still in the miracle business? He loves us more than we can know and desires to bless us in ways that cannot come naturally, only supernaturally. But we must ask. Ironically, though, the times we need God the most can also be the most difficult times to go to Him.

Sometimes we think we can figure things out on our own. But we are powerless to resolve these issues ourselves. Sometimes the anger or bitterness in our heart makes us feel ashamed to face the Lord. But He knows what’s in our hearts already, and much better than we know ourselves. And sometimes we can just become so comfortable living with the chains that we begin to hang bells and whistles on them.

But God wants us to be free. He wants us to cry out to Him, to trust Him and put every ounce of faith in Him and Him alone. He knows that only He has the power to heal our broken hearts, our broken bodies and our broken lives.

“So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.” Luke 11:9-10

It usually doesn’t happen in our time or our way, but if you ask and keep on asking, seeking and knocking, God will do great things in His perfect time and far better than you can ever imagine.


Q: How can I pray for you and your miracle?

All for Him,
Dorci

Out of the Shadows and Into the Light

“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” (Matthew 6:33)

Now is the time everyone likes to make resolutions. I’ve never been a big resolution-maker myself, although I do like the thought of starting a brand, new year. We plan and have lofty ideas and goals and ways to make our lives better.

We think losing weight will make our lives perfect. Or climbing the corporate ladder and making more money, surely that will make our lives perfect. Or finding a spouse--a first one or a new one--or putting all our efforts into this relationship, that’s bound to make our lives fulfilling. Or we could just determine to pour all our efforts into serving at church. 

We make all these plans, thinking that in them alone will be the magic bullet that makes our lives all we want it to be. Somehow, though, those resolutions don’t seem to last that long, do they? And even if they do, they never seem to be quite enough and we go searching for something else to fulfill our lives.

The thing is, we can resolute until the cows come home, but unless Jesus Christ comes first in our lives and He fills that void that only He was meant to fill, we will keep trying to fill it with something else.

As I look back on this past year, I realize the one thing the Lord has shown me over and over again is that all things are but a shadow of His grand and perfect love for us. Only He is meant to fill the emptiness in our hearts and fulfill our deepest longings.

When we don’t seek God first and allow Him to be everything to us, we will automatically begin to focus on lesser gods--relationships, careers, entertainment, drugs and alcohol--to fill the void. None of that will ever completely satisfy and so we hungrily continue searching and trying to fill that emptiness with everything but Him. Even service to the Lord will not meet our spiritual needs without first seeking relationship with our Heavenly Father.

As I look ahead to the stark-white pages of the coming year, I wonder what will be written on them. Will they be filled with stories of running ahead of God and trying to fill the void of my heart that His absence has left with all those other things?

The Christian life is not about seeking the things, it’s about seeking after God. It’s about an active, loving relationship with the Lord. It's about the act of daily worshipping the King of kings in all we do. And if we are making plans without Him, we could be taking ourselves far away from the awesome plans He has for our lives. We could be settling for good, when He desires to give us His best. But when Christ is first in my heart, then my spiritual eyes are focused and the Lord can show me what His plans are and He will give me the power and strength to carry them out.

When we make the decision to make the Lord our number one priority, when we focus on knowing and loving Him, when we allow relationship with our Heavenly Father to fill that deep, dark longing in our souls the way He desires, then everything else will fall into place. He will make sure of it. Not that our lives will be perfect, but we will have the peace of knowing that no matter what happens, we are right in the center of His will.

Seek the Lord wholeheartedly and then wait in faith. He’ll show you where to go and what to do and how to do it, and you’ll have His power to accomplish it. And who doesn’t need God’s power to drop a few pounds, right?

All God's best to you,

He Hears You When You're Praying

I thought I had shared this story here before but I couldn’t find it when I searched.  Whether you've heard it or not, I pray the Holy Spirit will speak to your heart in a fresh and personal way.

*       *       *

My husband and I were facing our second Christmas after we became Christians. Just a few months before I had quit my job to stay home and raise our son, who was a little more than a year and a half.

On paper we didn’t have the money to support ourselves, but I felt strongly that God wanted me home and I wanted to be there. We had faith that He would honor our obedience and that He would take care of us.

That faith was tested as Christmas day neared and we had no money to buy gifts for our precious son. He was still so young that he really didn’t understand that he would be missing out on Christmas morning, but we knew. And so I turned to the Lord.

I sat down in the living room one day while my husband was at work and just talked to the Lord. I was open and honest and poured out my heart to Him. I told Him we had no money (of course He already knew that) and that I knew the only way Eric would have any presents on Christmas morning would be if He gave them Himself, and so I asked Him if He would do that very thing. As far as I know, no one else knew about our situation.

Christmas morning came and we still hadn’t found a way to buy presents. My husband and I and our smiley, little Eric got up and started our day like it was any day, making breakfast and going about our usual routine, but joyful to celebrate the birth of our Lord.

And then there was a knock on the door.

All three of us went to the door and opened it. It was our next door neighbor. She explained that they had looked out their front window and noticed that in their driveway there was a Christmas tree and some boxes. When they went outside to have a look, they saw that there were some lights and ornaments for the tree. And there were gifts.

But she said they knew the gifts weren’t for them. They had two daughters who were older. The gifts were for a little boy, our little boy. She said they knew we went to church and thought maybe someone from the congregation had left them for us and just missed our driveway by one. (Personally, I think it was a divine “mistake,” so that God could reveal His grace in the eyes of our neighbors, too.) They handed us the tree and the gifts and I stood there stunned with tears in my eyes.

My Father had heard my prayer. I had reached out to Him in faith and He had blessed me by blessing our son…His son. He hadn’t seen it as a silly or frivolous prayer. What He saw was a heart that believed in Him and was reaching out to Him in faith in a time of need.

We set up the tree, gave our son his gifts and sat in awe as we comprehended the heart of our Lord. It was His birthday and yet He was blessing us. That was 20 years ago and it’s still the most precious Christmas I've ever had. In the world’s eyes we were poor, but in Christ we couldn’t have been richer.

I hope you know God loves you and He hears you when you call out to Him.  And I hope you know the riches of Christ this Christmas and always.

“Blessed be the LORD, because He has heard the voice of my supplications! The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in Him, and I am helped; therefore my heart greatly rejoices, and with my song I will praise Him. The LORD is their strength, and He is the saving refuge of His anointed. Save Your people, and bless Your inheritance; shepherd them also, and bear them up forever.” (Psalm 28:6-9)

Blessings!
Dorci

Unadulterated

Truth is unyielding to the whims and opinions of man. It is unbending to the changing world around it. It is immovable and unshakeable. It is enduringly constant; it is uncompromising, unrelenting and unwavering in its steadfastness. It is laid open and bare and invites the light to reveal its purity and beauty. It is what it is.

Truth will not compromise its frame to fit our character; we must bend and stretch and twist and turn and yield to mold to the shape of truth, or else be broken.

But the Master Carpenter will see that only our will is broken. With His tender and loving hand He heats and hammers and shapes and forms. He removes only the rough edges of darkened character that do not fit the shape of truth. He prepares us as a thing of beauty and when we stand before Him--a masterpiece.

Keep On Keepin' On

If you look back on your life, you probably realize that you have persevered through a lot – illness, rejection, doubt, loneliness, loss, regret, death. But you’ve made it! You’re still here and you’ve learned a lot through it. I hope you’re closer to the Lord because of it. Still, the temptation can sometimes be to give up when we face yet another difficult trial. But now is not the time to give up.

Now is the time to persevere.

The Lord Jesus Christ knew perseverance and He exampled it to us all the way to the end of His life.

“Now before the Feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew that His hour had come that He should depart from this world to the Father, having loved His own who were in the world, He loved them to the end.” (John 13:1)

Not only did He continue in obedience to His Father all the way to the cross and the grave, but He persevered in love. He didn’t persevere begrudgingly, He didn’t become bitter, and He didn’t become weak or weary.

He persevered with love.

But how do you do that? Maybe you’re tired right now and don’t know how you’re going to make it through. You cannot do it alone.

Persevere with the One Who gives love and strength and hope.

Hold onto Him and none else. Make Him your hope, believing in Him for all things. Make Him your Lord, allowing Him to lead you through all things. He will be with you and love you to the end.

“You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. For in just a very little while, ‘He who is coming will come and will not delay. But my righteous one will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him.' But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved.” (Hebrews 10:36-39)

Grace for the Moment

Well, the week is passing and once again I haven't posted anything yet.  Lately my days have been filled with physical therapy and pain.  Seems the former is aggravating the latter before it gets better.  There are days I'm okay with that and I humbly surrender my body and my life to my God for His purposes, whatever that may be.  And then there are other days when I feel like I just can't take it another second.  I watch the days and weeks and years of my life go by and feel like all the precious time is being wasted in all the forced inactivity. 

And so I cry out to God, "God, I just want my life back."   

And almost immediately I hear Him answer in my heart, "But it's My life, remember?" 

"Yes, Lord, I remember." 

And I try to not think about what might have been in the past or about what may or may not be in the future.  I try to live right now, holding onto God's grace just for this moment.  I try to remember that God's ways are all topsy-turvy and backwards and beautiful.  When I try to keep my life, I lose it.  But when I'm willing to lose my life for the sake of my Lord, that is when I will be filled with the only real life there is: the life of Christ.  (Luke 9:24)

So here's to losing my life.  It's all yours, Father, once again.  Fill me up with the life and power and joy of your Holy Spirit.  May Your strength be perfected in all my weaknesses and may Your glorious will be done in and through me.  And Lord, please grant me the grace I need for this moment.

Fellowship of Sufferings

A week or so ago, I asked the Lord what exactly is meant by “fellowship of sufferings” when it says in Philippians 30:10, “that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death..”

And then a few days ago my husband was telling me about an episode of Dhani Jones Tackles the Globe. Dhani Jones is a football player for the Cincinnati Bengals, who in his off time goes in search of learning sporting pastimes from all over the world and he does it all on camera for the Travel Channel.

On a recent episode, Dhani was in Nepal, where he decided to go for a little hike. His goal was to reach the summit of Kala Patthar, which is 935 feet higher than the base camp of Mt. Everest and gives the hiker a good view of the pinnacle of the world’s highest mountain. The elevation of the summit of Kala Patthar is approximately 18,000 feet. The oxygen at this level is a mere fraction of what we normally breathe, and along the way, Dhani began experiencing shortness of breath and light-headedness.

Also on the trek was a man in his 60's, who was suffering from altitude sickness and was too weak to go on. Someone needed to carry him back down the mountain. Though Dhani was extremely fatigued himself, he volunteered to carry the man. Ironically, though Dhani was having a hard time climbing the mountain on his own, he said that he felt a surge of strength as he carried the man down the mountain.  He knew that he was helping to save a life.

I wonder if Jesus felt that way as he hung on the cross. He died the same agonizing death that had been endured by thousands of others. But His suffering was not for any sins He had committed, but for the sins of the entire world. And because He understood that His suffering had a great and noble purpose - to carry each one of us to safety and into eternity - He was strengthened to endure His suffering.  He knew it was His Father’s will.

Everyone will suffer, but if we recognize that our suffering in Christ has a great and noble purpose, too, then we share in the fellowship of His sufferings. Knowing that God can use our suffering not only for the benefit of our own spiritual growth, but also for the benefit of others, it gives our suffering meaning.

In Christ, we can carry others on our mountains (and valleys) of suffering and be strengthened in doing so. We carry them through our trials by exampling the peace and joy of Christ, especially to unbelievers; we learn greater compassion for others who are suffering and so are able to give comfort where we have received comfort; we gain wisdom that we can pass on to others who are experiencing similar circumstances; and God uses our circumstances of suffering in the lives of others in ways that we won't even see or understand this side of heaven.

When we recognize that our suffering is not just for suffering’s sake (and hopefully not because we are reaping the consequences of our own sin), but that because we are in Christ it has a grander purpose than just for ourselves and what we can see at the moment, then we share in Christ's sufferings. And as we fellowship, or partner, with Christ in suffering with a purpose, we will be strengthened to carry on with courage in our various trials knowing that they, too, will be used to the glory of the Father in the grand scheme of His perfect will.

“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” (Rom. 8:28)

When God Hands You Fish...

Life may sometimes hand you lemons, but God will sometimes hand you a fish, and you'll be swallowed up by it.  And it may be for a lot longer than the three days that Jonah experienced.  

God sent a fish my way six years ago in the form of physical ailments.  As hard as I flailed and fought to find my way out, my fish wasn't anywhere near vomiting.  And I'm glad.  When we feel the heat of our trials being turned up, our natural inclination is to find the nearest exit and get out.  And if we do, we will miss God's best.

What if Jonah's whale had vomited him up after the first day, or the second?  If so, Jonah would not have been brought to the place where he was able to humbly submit to the Lord and pray,

"When I was in trouble, LORD, I prayed to you, and you listened to me. From deep in the world of the dead, I begged for your help, and you answered my prayer. You threw me down to the bottom of the sea. The water was churning all around; I was completely covered by your mighty waves. I thought I was swept away from your sight, never again to see your holy temple. I was almost drowned by the swirling waters that surrounded me. Seaweed had wrapped around my head. I had sunk down below the underwater mountains; I knew that forever, I would be a prisoner there. But, you, LORD God, rescued me from that pit. When my life was slipping away, I remembered you-- and in your holy temple you heard my prayer. All who worship worthless idols turn from the God who offers them mercy. But with shouts of praise, I will offer a sacrifice to you, my LORD. I will keep my promise, because you are the one with power to save."  (Jonah 2)

Then and only then did the Lord command the fish to vomit Jonah out onto dry land. 

Since the time my new doctor had agreed to remove the cyst which was so rudely encroaching on the space in my spinal canal, my husband's wondered aloud a few times about why, when another doctor had found the cyst a couple of years ago, didn't he remove it then?  There are a lot of physical answers to that question, but the spiritual truth of the matter is that I hadn't learned all God wanted to teach me through this trial yet.  And once the intended transformation had taken place, the Lord gave permission for the surgery. 

I think about a scenario where the Lord would have allowed me to find the exit and escape the heat of my trial early.  Oh, how lacking in spiritual riches I would be.

Don't ever be in a hurry to escape a trial.  The Lord is with you in the heat as He was with Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego.  Embrace your Lord in the trial - it is a gift given by a sovereign God Who is in complete control of every degree all the while you're in it.  Trust Him, pray to Him, love Him.  No matter how dark the darkness, He is there. 

The heat you feel is the heat that is melting down your faith once again so that the dross of doubt, and mistrust, and insecurity and any other impurity can be seen so that we can then give God permission to remove it, and our faith becomes that much more pure.  That process will take place hundreds and even thousands of times so that we can then present to God our most holy faith - something much sweeter than lemonade.

And I'd like to add that I am still, as of now, feeling all the same symptoms that this surgery is supposed to take care of.  The thought, though, is that those nerves are still irritated from the surgery itself and it may take a while to feel the changes.  This is part of trusting in the Lord, too.  He led me to have the surgery, and I have to know that it wasn't for no reason. 

~

Thank you all for your prayers as I went through the surgery and now as I'm going through the recovery process.  Even the recovery is a time to still learn more trust, more patience and more gratefulness.  It's a slow process.  Typing out this blog is a much as I've done in the two weeks since my surgery - which was a crazy ordeal.  The cyst ended up being much larger than originally thought and even travelled down my spinal cord about six inches.  The bony plates that protrude from the vertebrae had to be removed from three of them in order to get to the cyst, and they were put back with metal plates and screws.  I'm hoping that will give me an excuse to never have an MRI again.  Most of the recovery takes about three months but the bones will take up to a year to completely heal. 

I'll tell you though, seeing God's love in action through some of the sweetest friends in the world, and even through some precious souls who I've never even met who have prayed for me, asked about me, sent me cards, and brought us food is an awesome and humbling thing to experience.  And a special thank you to my family - my kids who have pitched in to help with hardly a whimper, and my husband, who has practically run himself ragged to do for me what I can't do for myself right now, which is just about everything.  If the goodness of all these people are an indication of what heaven will be like, I'm going to blessed to have some amazing neighbors. 

In His Hands,

Dorci

What Do Waiting and Strength Have to Do With Each Other?

Have you ever had the experience of reading a verse for the umpteenth time, knowing that you know what it means, only to have a word or a portion of it, this time, stop you in your tracks as you wonder at its meaning? You thought you knew, but if you were to have to explain it to someone else you’d be hard-pressed to verbalize it? Not surprisingly, that happens to me often and it happened to me again when I read this just a couple of weeks ago:

“Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:30-31)

“but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength;"

I stopped and thought about these words and wondered how waiting for the Lord could renew my strength. I feel like I’ve been waiting for the Lord for a very long time and sometimes I just feel downright weary or even anxious in waiting, not strengthened. When I just can’t make sense of a portion of scripture like this, I stop and ask the Lord what it means. And usually over the next week or two He’ll begin showing me, usually from a few different resources. And this time was no exception.

And this is what I learned: waiting does not mean sitting idly by twiddling my thumbs. It means to wait while focusing on the Lord with eager expectation until He shows you what to do.

I’ve been reading a book called The Gospel According to Job by Mike Mason. To paraphrase his explanation, it is as if we are waiters in a restaurant, waiting patiently for the customer’s order. We don’t tell the customer what he wants, we allow them to place their own order.

God orders the circumstances in the believer’s life. We are to simply wait for the order and then fill it. And when we are moving in obedience and in God’s timing, He will give us strength to accomplish His will.

The trouble I run into is when I take my eyes off of the Lord and order my own circumstances. God will not give me strength if I am running ahead of Him or taking a left turn when I should have turned right. I think when I do that He just stops and stands there until I realize I’ve wandered off without Him, and I either turn around and catch up with Him, or stop and wait with Him until He gives me the green light. Then we will move together and I will have His strength to accomplish His will.

And then, as if to punctuate the words He had spoken to me over those couple of weeks about waiting, He reminded me, again through my Streams in the Desert devotion, and again through one of my favorite blogs, More Than Coping, that He told me months ago to wait quietly. In fact, when I stopped in and saw that the heading of the blog was Wait Quietly, I’m pretty sure the Lord and I smiled together as I thought, “Oh yeah, I’m supposed to be waiting quietly.” I can have a very short attention span. In fact, I think I have a little spiritual ADD.

And you know what was even funnier (not funny, ha ha, but funny, ironic)? The very next morning after reading this Streams in the Desert devotion - which was about Abraham obtaining God’s promises because he waited patiently on the Lord - it was Sunday morning and the teaching at church was in Romans 4, which talked about the fact that Abraham believed God and that belief was counted as righteousness, and Abraham received God’s promises because of it.

While you’re waiting, never forget that God’s timing is masterfully crafted.