Well, the week is passing and once again I haven't posted anything yet. Lately my days have been filled with physical therapy and pain. Seems the former is aggravating the latter before it gets better. There are days I'm okay with that and I humbly surrender my body and my life to my God for His purposes, whatever that may be. And then there are other days when I feel like I just can't take it another second. I watch the days and weeks and years of my life go by and feel like all the precious time is being wasted in all the forced inactivity.
And so I cry out to God, "God, I just want my life back."
And almost immediately I hear Him answer in my heart, "But it's My life, remember?"
"Yes, Lord, I remember."
And I try to not think about what might have been in the past or about what may or may not be in the future. I try to live right now, holding onto God's grace just for this moment. I try to remember that God's ways are all topsy-turvy and backwards and beautiful. When I try to keep my life, I lose it. But when I'm willing to lose my life for the sake of my Lord, that is when I will be filled with the only real life there is: the life of Christ. (Luke 9:24)
So here's to losing my life. It's all yours, Father, once again. Fill me up with the life and power and joy of your Holy Spirit. May Your strength be perfected in all my weaknesses and may Your glorious will be done in and through me. And Lord, please grant me the grace I need for this moment.